love poem to the colour orange
in poetry, visual art
ashes
in poetry
breathing in the ash of 34000 dead
& the soot tastes like selfishness
hot & salt-tinged the way
the scent of death lingers
in the cloudline—
a faint grey smoke.
fires burning through the night
like train engines & still
not enough flame
for each of us—
pleading for warmth
we find instead refrigerator trucks
their jaws agape like flytraps
long steel throats opening—
waiting for prey.
earlier this week I learned that los angeles has temporarily suspended the air quality regulations that restrict the number of cremations that can happen in a day. there are so many dead from covid-19 mortuaries have not been able to keep up. the image of the air around us full of the ash of the dead has haunted me this week, so I wrote a poem about it.
last night at the reservoir
“last night I walked into the hills & kept climbing. came upon a hiking trail between the million dollar houses & wandered through to lake hollywood park. looped around to walk along the reservoir as the sun crept lower & lower. came back to the paved streets & meandered through the narrow roads in the hills until I ended up back at home in the early twilight of a hot winter day.”
happy holi-daze
holiday self portrait 2020
here’s to an absolutely insane year.
poems about feelings & things
in photography, poetry
slow fashion
in photography
during the stay at home period here in la I’ve gotten more & more interested in slow fashion. the other day I decided to do a mini photoshoot with a couple of pieces from two of my fave brands. slow fashion revolves around ethical production practices & supply lines, with products that are meant to be kept, & worn, & loved for years. growing up in poverty I have a lot to unpack around the scarcity mindset which makes “quality over quantity” difficult for me, but these pieces & the handful of others I’ve added to my closet are helping me start.
tank from arq.
breeches from state the label.
lost things
in histories, photography, weird world, gear
ludlow california is an unincorporated community which dates back to the late 1800s. the town itself was founded in 1882 & named after william ludlow of the southern pacific railroad. after a decline in mining & railway projects the town served as a rest stop on the infamous route 66. when interstate 40 was built in the 1960’s ludlow was largely deserted. departing residents left abandoned buildings dotting the old highway. the town is now home to a gas station, diner, & small motel. as of year 2000 the population was 10.
I stopped in ludlow just as dawn broke on my way to amboy crater, only a handful of miles further on route 66. fascinated by the dawn light on the scattered crumbling buildings, I used it as an opportunity to try out my diffuser filter, & got these dreamy looking shots.
filter is the cinebloom 20% from moment.
old volcano friends
in explore, hiking, photography, weird world
amboy crater rises up almost 1000 feet above its surrounding lava field.
amboy crater is a cinder cone volcano located just off route 66 in california’s mojave desert. a cinder cone volcano is the simplest form or volcano, created when lava & particles are shot into the air during an eruption from a single vent. the cooling lava falls back to the earth creating a cone shape around the vent.
the amboy volcano is considered extinct & hasn’t erupted for at least 10,000 years. an easy 4.1 mile out & back hiking trail takes you through the surrounding lava field & into the crater. temperatures get very hot in the summer, above 100 degrees most days. bring extra water, sunscreen, & sun protective clothes.
view into the crater from the volcano’s rim.
working
a series of thoughts on work & working from my instagram a couple of weeks ago.
inspired by the book ‘having & being had’ by eula biss.
untitled fire poem
in failure blog, poetry
my poem-a-month newsletter went out last week. since the beginning of the climate fires here on the west coast I’ve been trying to write a poem about the weird light, the gritty air, & the scent of doom. mostly I’ve failed. I sent my latest attempt out in the newsletter. read it here & subscribe to get a poem & a poetic exercise in your inbox each month.
untitled fire poem
I want to write a poem about the fires
about the ash floating in the air
like the scent of summer jasmine.
the smokers teeth sky pressing low—
so much lower than I remember.
I want to write a poem about the burn
pressed into my eyes the rough sleeps
the feeling of fine sand in my throat.
I want to write it but the flames—
are never quite far enough away.
yellow sky diary
in diary
no filter, shot on iphone. 10 september 2020.
the air is dusty but after a moment you reliase it’s not dust, it’s ash.
another blurred yellow morning. I couldn’t sleep because as the sun comes up the smoke gets worse. my throat catches. I rub my eyes.
no one ever said a transformation would be easy, but I wish it wasn’t quite so hard on those of us not insulated from its worse effects. maybe this is a wake up call & the world will be better afterwards.
maybe it will be much much worse.
everything inverted in my tarot spread this morning. an indicator of confusion. everything turned upside-down & opaque. maybe searching for beauty in the middle of all this is the task at hand.
maybe small, shimmering, moments of beauty is all we have.
Reds
in photography, hiking, explore, travel
there are several “red rock” parks throughout the united states. one of the perhaps lesser known ones is red rock canyon state park in southern california just off state highway 14.
bisected by the road, the park is easy to find & provides gorgeous views from even a passing car window. located at the southern most tip of the sierra nevada mountains where they meet with the el paso range, driving through you can clearly see as the desert topography changes around you.
the distinctive red rocks once served as landmarks for passing mule freight teams in the 1870’s & the park land now protects several significant paleontology sites, as well as the remains of late 19th century mining operations.
I left los angeles at 4 am to catch the sunrise over these picturesque natural scupltures. the dawn light made the desert look like a painting. the only word that comes to mind to describe it is “majestic”. it was absolutely gorgeous.
fossils
in explore, hiking, weird world, travel
inside one of the circular erosions.
spent an early morning last week climbing around fossil falls off highway 395 in the california desert. I left los angeles at 4 am to beat the heatwave temperatures, but it was still 90+ degrees when I arrived at around 6:30 in the morning.
fossil falls is a fascinating geological feature that contains neither fossils nor waterfalls! tens of thousands of years ago water runoff from nearby glaciers made its way through the valleys of the high desert. there they met with some obstruction from volcanoes! the running water carved volcanic rock into the spectacular tumble that is now fossil falls. the basalt shapes are almost alien looking & feature perfectly circular erosions called potholes where rushing water drove sediment into the rock via rotating eddies.
you might also recognize fossil falls from a short film I shot there a few years ago, finite.
with the fishes
in gear, photography
have been wandering around with the meike 6.5mm f/2.0 fisheye lens & experimenting with its funky possibilities. long ago I had a toy 35mm film fisheye camera & always enjoyed the cool perspective of these ultra wide aesthetic lenses. now that I’ve got my hands on a closeout olympus pen epl8 with a micro four thirds mount I was excited to try out a true fisheye as opposed to the free app I have on my phone.
this is such a fun lens! an absolutely giant frame, with the coolest round image & dark vignetting. so much fun for a neighbourhood stroll & putting a new spin on images. the meike is an inexpensive lens that has a much fancier build quality than I expected. this is a solid little guy, made of metal instead of the typical plastic for this price point. I grabbed it with a bundle of free accessories at adorama. between this gem & the slr magic toy lens my olympus pen is becoming a super fun experimental camera.
made for walkin'
recently I have become interested in the slow/ethical fashion movement. basically this revolves around the idea of avoiding waste & inhumane business practices by cultivating a wardrobe of ethically made pieces which you keep & rewear for years to come. while in quarantine I have been learning about how to mend clothing, to make pieces I already have last longer, as well as how to make my own clothes. I’ve also been exploring ethical brands like Bryr.
I have been lusting from afar over Bryr Clogs for a long while. these gorgeous shoes are handmade to order in san francisco by a small women-led team. this past may, for my birthday, I decided to finally get myself a pair.
this style is chloe & the colour is fennel. I love the somewhat odd green/yellow hue of this shade. a more interesting neutral than black, brown, or grey (the staples of my wardrobe). initially, I thought the high heel (about 3 inches) would make these “special occasion” clogs but I was surprised by how comfortable & easy to walk in they are. all that aside, they’re also just stunningly beautiful.
this isn’t really a fashion blog, but these shoes are so photogenic I felt like I had to snap a few pictures.
freedom
in diary, photography, poetry
what does it mean to be free?
photos from the desert.
olympus pen e-pl8 & slr magic toy lens.
alphabet soup
complete sentence, 2020
w i t c h, 2020
spent some time recently playing with a small LED light & my 35mm prime lens. I’ve had this lens for about a year, but haven’t had much chance to shoot with it. I’ve seen many cool images on instagram featuring this alphabet sequin/confetti look & thought I’d try out my own take. one thing I’ll say for sure: adding more intentional lighting makes a HUGE difference in the look & quality of the final image! this is something that all the photo blogs & youtubers say all the time, but it’s remarkable to see it in action. can’t wait to play more with lights!
check out more images from this series on my instagram or in the self-portraits gallery.
happy accidents
I went for a wander around one of my favourite places in claifornia—salton sea—a week or so ago. I have been experimenting with a wide angle lens (nikkor 10-24mm f3.5/4.5) with some interesting results. this day I unknowingly left the multiple exposure setting activated & ended up with a few cool double exposed images of the the sea & its surrounding area. love it when accidents help us find something interesting!
hiking with the devil
the devil’s punchbowl natural area is an LA county park in the transitional zone between the san gabriel mountains & the mojave desert. it surrounds a punchbowl formation, where a millennia of shifts in the plates of the earth along the punchbowl fault have forced a sandstone syncline—where the edges of the earth have been folded upward while the center dropped.
the punchbowl fault connects with the famed san andreas fault only a short distance northward.
the devil’s chair is aptly named!
within the natural area is the devil’s chair, a narrow outcropping of rocks providing panoramic views of the surrounding geology. while the chair & the path immediately to it are lined with a rough metal fence the height, wind, & narrow width had me a bit nervous. the trail itself is frequently about a foot wide & barely cut into the side of the mountain. man-made railings are sporadic & in various states of disrepair. the view is well worth the trek, even though I only sat in the devil’s chair for a few minutes!
my way of reminding myself what I’m taking a photo of.
from several vista points along the trail you can clearly see the line of rock marking faultline activity. after climbing the devil’s chair route, I took the much shorter loop trail down into the canyon to see the sandstone rock formations close up. a stark visible reminder that our planet is always shifting.
the devil’s chair hike is about 7.5 miles out & back, mostly moderate with a couple of steep sections at the beginning & end. limited shade & portions which are not for the faint of heart.
the loop trail is a steep 1 mile circut from the punchbowl natural area’s parking lot down into the canyon where the sandrock creek winds between the stones.
parking is free, but limited.
toys
in photography, gear
after more than 80 years in the business, olympus announced in late june that they would be stopping production on their camera products. once a major player in the camera world, olympus has recorded record losses for the past few years, due in large part to the smartphone’s hold on the point & shoot camera market. I’d only briefly tried olympus 35mm film cameras in the past, but was interested to see their digital mirrorless offerings & found a pen e-pl8 on closeout sale for a steal. combined with the slr magic toy lens this little dude becomes a cool analog camera dupe. I’m loving the random colour & focus oddities which the lens creates. the pen’s small size makes it a great wandering around camera & I’m glad I grabbed one before they’re gone.
hollywood wandering with the olympus e-pl8 & slr magic toy lens.