we’re about to enter month five on stay at home guidelines here in california. as a freelancer who worked mostly from home before, my days haven’t changed too drastically, I just don’t have the workload I once did. thought I’d make a little video about how I’m spending my time at home.
this month’s poem-a-month newsletter was a bit late due to technical difficulties, but has gone out now. have been thinking about the stories we tell ourselves in order to protect us from having to face tough realities, especially the realities of having intersecting types of privilege in america.
morning in america
& another layer of ash
has settled over the streets
whispering to us as dawn
claws her way up.
we nod awake, arms tired
from putting ourselves out front
our houses silent but the memory
of fire lingers in our lungs.
still the ash keeps falling,
lace-like on our eyelashes
crystals for us to brush—
we never care to learn
where the burning is from.
I realise there are so many different reading lists circling around the internet. but since I firmly believe in the power of books & the power of the people to educate themselves when they are determined to expend the effort to do so, I thought I would share a list of some books that have been useful for me.
I recommend buying your books from a small, black-owned bookstore. my choice is eso won books here in LA. their website: esowonbookstore.com
MY LIST:
stamped from the beginning by ibram x. kendi
so you want to talk about race by ijeoma oluo
why I’m no longer talking to white people about race by reni eddo-lodge
how to be an antiracist by ibram x. kendi
magical negro by morgan parker
homie by danez smith
open city by teju cole
they can’t kill us until they kill us hanif abdurraqib
there are more beautiful things than beyonce by morgan parker
homie by danez smith
beloved by toni morrison
sula by toni morrison
ain’t I a woman by bell hooks
citizen by claudia rankine
I also recommend some investigation into buddhist philosophy to work on getting comfortable with uncomfortableness. I start with the following:
fear by thich nhat hanh
comfortable with uncertainty by pema chodorn.
I hope this list is a useful beginning for people seeking to educate themselves.
thousands of protestors take a knee in the street near beverly center. los angeles 30 may 2020.
I wish when they reported about protests they reported on the people with first aid kits in their backpacks. I wish they reported about the teenagers snaking through the crowd offering water & snacks. I wish they reported about the two young white women sharing their bottle of sunscreen with two young black women they'd just met. I wish they reported on the people spraying hand sanitizer on the palms of all who stretched their arms out as they passed. I wish they reported on the five black teenagers who chased away a young white man who tried to set a dumpster on fire. I wish they reported on the young black man begging us to tell everyone we know that they didn't start this shit. I wish they reported on people helping to direct traffic away from police. I wish they reported on how the crowd parted & cheered for an ambulance that needed to get through. I wish they reported about how the march paused at a senior care facility to applaud the workers who had gathered at the doorway, thanking them. I wish they reported about how over a thousand people took a silent knee in the middle of the street. I wish they reported about the bus driver who stepped out of her bus as it was being vandalized & thanked protesters for being out in the streets. I wish they reported about the parents with their children. I wish they reported on people handing out masks to help keep others safe. I wish they reported on the drum line. I wish they reported on the singing.
lilith was adam’s first wife. made by god from the same clay, she was his equal. when she refused to be subordinate to him she was banished from eden.
she then transformed into a demon. some stories call her the mother of demons. some cast her as a cannibal who devours children. there is no one more feared than a woman who chooses herself.
“out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
& I eat men like air.”
-sylvia plath, lady lazarus
sometimes a person just needs to venture around their neighbourhood visiting all the blooming flowers & cracks in the pavement. wandering is good for the soul.
originally built in 1923 as an advertisement for the segregated “hollywoodland” real estate development in the surrounding hills, the sign was eventally left up due to popular demand & is now a los angeles historic cultural monument. the original sign was studded with thousands of lightbulbls, which flashed “holly” “wood” “land” on repeat. it wasn’t until 1948, when the hollywood chamber of commerce contracted with the city of los angeles parks department to maintain the sign, that the “land” section was removed to reflect the entire surrounding neighbourhood & not just the housing development.
in 1978 the formerly wood sign was rebuilt from steel after spending decades in disrepair. the campaign to restore the sign was led by playboy magazine founder hugh hefner, who donated money to the cause. the new sign was unveiled as part of a cbs television special commemorating the 75th anniversary of the incorporation of the city of hollywood.
it is now one of the most visited tourist attractions in los angeles.
yesterday’s activity for national poetry month? write a day long poem, starting at 9 am & adding one line an hour until 8 pm. this is what I came up with.
To refrain from neglecting my poet muscles I’ve just now today begun the “POEM-A-MONTH club”! This is a free monthly mini email containing a poem from me & some ideas to get you making your very own little poems! The first issue is going out 13 April, so subscribe ASAP.
a digital mini-zine.
you can buy a handwritten physical copy of this mini-zine by sending me $5 & messaging me a note with your mailing address. you’ll get a little zine & a note from me. offer valid for as long as I have envelopes.
recently I learned about a place called rainbow valley. this is a section of the northeast ridge route up mt. everest, located within the infamous “death zone” at an altitude of more than 26,000 feet. fascinated by the places that lure us, I had to write about rainbow valley. listen below to learn more about mt. everest’s “death zone” & hear my poem, chasing rainbows.
Music:
Sad Trio by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4314-sad-trio
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
on sunday I finished the LA marathon. if you’d have asked me, even a single year ago, if I was the kind of person who did things like running 26.2 miles willingly, I would have laughed in your face.
I initially started running in spring of 2019 because I thought it would be a “cheap” fitness hobby. I began running one single mile at a time & it was exhausting. after a few months I worked my way up to 2 miles.
then in june I ran my first ever 5k. those 3.1 miles were the longest I had ever run in my entire life. when I finished I thought, as a joke: ok, but what if I did a marathon?
so I found a beginner marathon training plan online & started running. it was something of a pipe dream, but it gave me something to do, a goal to work towards. I think I probably still thought I wouldn’t actually do the thing.
well, this past sunday I did the thing.
I was a lot slower than I wanted to be, a full hour above my goal time. there was a moment at mile 18 where I really thought I wasn’t going to be able to finish. but I pulled myself together & I finished that race.
now I’m planning my next one. pasadena half marathon, here I come!
spent a few days last week in my hometown on a rare visit. drove past my elementary school & high school, wandered the old neighbourhoods, & revisited some historic haunts. I’ve always had a thing for interesting & vintage neon signs.
the neon sign for powell villa in outer se portland was likely installed in the late 1950s.
avalon theatre, opened as the sunnyside theatre in 1912. the avalon sign likely dates from 1925.
Have been going through old family photos…
Top left: my grandmother & great grandfather, 1953
Top right: my great grandfather, probably 1964.
Bottom right: my great grandmother, 1964.
We’re in a new year so I thought the time was right for a new “about me” video. I think these little videos are really fun, & I’ll never pass up an opportunity to get my cat on camera.
women’s march la, 2020.
very dissapointed that the women’s march la organization refused to work with black lives matter los angeles. none of us are free until all of us are free.
the only thing in this world that could entice me to this much cardiovascular activity is cats, so this spring I’m running the los angeles marathon to raise money for kitten rescue!
you can help me reach my goal of raising $700 for this amazing organization by donating on my fundraising page. do it for the kittens!
dreaming about another adventure in iceland.
someday I want to drive the ring road in summer—
just me
between the island
& the sea.
looking in reykjavik windows, 2018.
I recently learned about giulia tofana, a 17th century poisoner. she is believed to have provided the means for the death of over 600 men between 1633 - 1659. her infamous poison, named aqua tofana after her, was comprised of mostly arsenic & lead & was sold disguised first as makeup & then as devotional holy oil in honour of st. nicola of bari. after being turned in to papal authorities by a remorseful customer, she was executed alongside her daughter & three assistants in july 1659.
virtually nothing is known about her life prior to the mid-1600’s, when she appeared in southern italy as a beautiful widow selling cosmetics. her mother, thofania d’adamo, was executed for the murder of her husband in 1633 & may have passed the aqua tofana recipe down to her daughter. there are no records of giulia’s marriage & no surviving portraits of her.
+++
ruminating on how I can expand her story. women in history were so much more than housewives embroidering cushions…
downtown los angeles by night. experiments in long exposure.
