green(s)

in , ,

green with
(envy)

holding on
like a breath
before
falling.

g(r)o(w)ing
toward
the light.

insagram poetics.

sometimes things won't lift

in

a hobby of mine recently has been finding used clothing on the local thrift store’s “dollar day” & altering it to conceal or work with its existing stains, tears, or general misshapenness. I’ve tie dyed designer tee shirts, bleach splattered men’s work jeans, & cut up blouses & button downs. there’s something I find fun in remaking a garment which would have otherwise reached the end of its life.

of course, this doesn’t always work. recently I found a discounted pack of plain black socks at a department store & thought they might be interesting if I were to bleach tie dye them. I brought them home, rolled & twisted & knotted them up with tiny rubber bands from the dollar store & dropped them in a bucket of bleach.

nothing happened.

I left them submerged for well over half an hour & yet the socks remained steadfastly black. not even a hint of variation in shade. I checked the materials—natural fibers, not colourfast—& double checked the expiration date on my bleach. no explanation to be found for why my boring black socks were still their original hue.

I think this is probably a lesson. a metaphor perhaps? sometimes even if all the conditions are right, the colour just won’t lift & there’s nothing much at all you can do about it. sometimes you can’t move the mountain.

note: this is the first in a new series I’ve decided to work on called “failure blog”. if you know me, you know I love & appreciate failure more than lots of people & also have some probably silly philosophical ideas about the act of failing. maybe that’s me just trying to make value from the fact that I’ve failed a hell of a lot over the course of my life (& will likely continue to do so), but I think there’s something to the act of failure. especially as a creative. so failure blog will exist for my ruminations on this stuff. for better or worse.

what's a gorgon anyway?

in ,

medusa the gorgon, fated to turn men all men who looked upon her to stone… but was it a curse? or a blessing?

medusa was one of three gorgons, daughters born to phorcys & ceto. the only mortal among her immortal sisters—sthenno & euryale—medusa was either born with her infamous serpent hair; or according to ovid, was later cursed by athena with an appearance so hideous she turned all who looked at her into stone as punishment for the crime of daring to be raped by poseidon in athena’s temple.

beheaded by perseus while she slept (the only way the supposed hero could manage to defeat her). upon her death her children, pegasus & chrysaor, sprang from her bloodied neck. perseus avoided the vengeance of medusa’s sisters by wearing the helmet of darkness, gifted to him by hades, which granted him invisibility. those ancient rapists gotta stick together right?

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hope

in ,

“Hope” is the thing with feathers -
That perches in the soul -
And sings the tune without the words -
And never stops - at all -

And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard -
And sore must be the storm -
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm -

I’ve heard it in the chillest land -
And on the strangest Sea -
Yet - never - in Extremity,
It asked a crumb - of me.

-emily dickinson, #314

hope, after emily dickinson (2019)

mermaids

in , ,

going through old photos & came across these film shots from the coney island mermaid parade. I’m not certain of the date, but I estimate it’s 2010, if the bp oil spill reference is any indicator. I didn’t attend the parade every year I lived in brooklyn, but I did go several times. always a highlight of my new york summer season.

the coney island mermaid parade began in 1983 as a launching of the summer season. it is now the largest art parade in the united states—attracting thousands of participants & even more spectators from around new york city & the world. nautical themed costumes are encouraged for viewers & required for participants. a range of contests & other festivities surround the event, including the annual crowing of a king neptune & queen mermaid. in 2019, arlo & nora guthrie received the honors.

learn more about the parade on its website.

shot on 35mm film with a vintage nikon fe.

30 days of collage

in

Recently I decided to do a scrap collage in my journal every day for 30 days. These are the results.

also on my instagram.

the park

in ,

journal, mt. hollywood summit

IMG_4261.jpeg

if butterflies are symbols of transformation then mt. hollywood must be a place of transformation because it’s always swarming with butterflies up here. they make me nervous.

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summit

I forgot

how to wear myself

comfortably draped

a swirl of cloth

tied at the elbows

& knees.

expectation of give—

I never learned

what holding firm is.