wanting (2019)
concrete poems.
explorations in
wanting—
wanting (2019)
concrete poems.
explorations in
wanting—
There’s something good about being a failure—it keeps you going.
journal:
“honestly, I’m not really sure what ‘failure’ even means anymore. what is the definition? is it just being broke, or bored, or whatever else? is it that you tried something & it didn’t work? & if that’s it, then isn’t that basically all life is anyway?
is it that you haven’t amounted to anything? I’m not sure what ‘amounted to’ means either. maybe I just don’t know what anything means.
maybe nothing means anything? maybe it’s all just symbols for nothing & we’ve made up definitions. that’s basically what language is at least.”
going through old photos & came across these film shots from the coney island mermaid parade. I’m not certain of the date, but I estimate it’s 2010, if the bp oil spill reference is any indicator. I didn’t attend the parade every year I lived in brooklyn, but I did go several times. always a highlight of my new york summer season.
the coney island mermaid parade began in 1983 as a launching of the summer season. it is now the largest art parade in the united states—attracting thousands of participants & even more spectators from around new york city & the world. nautical themed costumes are encouraged for viewers & required for participants. a range of contests & other festivities surround the event, including the annual crowing of a king neptune & queen mermaid. in 2019, arlo & nora guthrie received the honors.
learn more about the parade on its website.
shot on 35mm film with a vintage nikon fe.
iphone collage, june 2019
what does it mean to be a shape?
to have a form?
to live in the physical world?
is one shape enough?
trying out some tricks I’ve been learning via youtube & instagram. filling up my product photography portfolio on raymarkmedia.com
learning the art of taking photographs of people.
see updated portraits in the gallery.
follow my brand new media company, raymark media, on instagram.
or visit raymarkmedia.com as I build my portfolio.
-n
keeping secrets
I’m the part of the canvas
that’s been painted over—
another image hidden behind.
someone asks:
what would it take to reveal yourself?
& I answer with laughter
like a threaded strand of lies.
things found while strolling the hollywood hills in early summer…
Recently I decided to do a scrap collage in my journal every day for 30 days. These are the results.
also on my instagram.
more poems in my instagram stories.
journal, mt. hollywood summit
if butterflies are symbols of transformation then mt. hollywood must be a place of transformation because it’s always swarming with butterflies up here. they make me nervous.
summit
I forgot
how to wear myself
comfortably draped
a swirl of cloth
tied at the elbows
& knees.
expectation of give—
I never learned
what holding firm is.
digital iphone collages, may 2019
joshua tree national park straddles both the colorado desert & the mojave desert in eastern california. the park was originally declared a national monument in 1936 & re-designated a national park in 1994 after congress passed the ‘california desert protection act’. taking up nearly 800,000 acres, the park itself is slightly larger than the state of rhode island. joshua tree is named for its trademark vegetation, the yucca brevifolia, which is native to the mojave desert.
untitled (ghosts) self portrait series, 2019.
I’m skin
& bone
& maybe
more.
maybe—
I wanted to be born.
maybe—
I wanted to be a ghost?
becoming
is slow like
weeds pushing
up through
cement.
but sometimes—
I wear my skin
as a costume.
I spent the morning a few days ago wandering the California Poppy Reserve, despite almost 35 mile per hour winds! The superbloom happening in Southern California right now, however, was more than worth the chapped lips & wind-whipped hair.
Put together a short video (of very wobbly windy footage) of my explorations. Look for more photos & videos from this gorgeous adventure on my instagram in the coming weeks.
+++
The Antelope Valley California Poppy Reserve in Lancaster, California is home to the most consistent blooming of the state's flower, the California poppy. The department of California State Parks does not water or stimulate the flowers in any way, instead leaving the blooms in their strictly natural state. It is against state law to remove flowers from the site & veering off the established paths can result in a hefty ticket. The traditional blooming season for California Poppies is mid-February through mid-May.
The so-called "superbloom" of 2019 was caused by an increase in rainfall during the winter months in Southern California. Parking on-site at the reserve, which is currently open 7:00am-7:00pm, is $10 per passenger vehicle, or you can opt to park on the shoulder of the road for free, provided you are at least 100 feet away from the park's entrance.
questions:
-how does the body work?
-what does the body hold together within & without itself?
-what does the body hold?
-where in the body is the ‘self’ located?
further study:
-how can language or thought interact with the physical body?
-how does the body need language in order to exist?
s y m b i o s i s
Read Moretiger’s eye
bringer of bright &
light to shadow places.
level headed like
a picture properly held.
solid enough to build
houses but still a kind
of breeze between trees.